"Unveiling Resilience: Navigating Life's Journey with Possible Breast Cancer"

In the tapestry of life, there are moments that redefine our journey, and as I stand at the threshold of uncertainty, I feel compelled to share my story. Welcome to this space where vulnerability finds a voice and strength emerges from the threads of raw experience.

The celebration of a "New Year, New Life" echoes around the globe, a chorus of hope and renewal. While I once embraced the traditional festivities of January, my perspective has shifted in the light of a more profound understanding of life's seasons.

Research indicates a higher mortality rate during winter, a time synonymous with rest and conclusions. Nature and individuals alike navigate changes, losses, and, at times, the specter of death. Energy levels drop, much like the leaves falling from trees and the withering of grass. The collective experience involves recognizing shifts within ourselves and witnessing changes and losses in the world around us. The winter months—December, January, and February—mark this period.

Don't misunderstand me; I appreciate the rationale behind celebrating a conventional "New Year's Day." Surviving what is perceived as the last 365 days with its challenges, losses, and close encounters with various aspects of life is a significant milestone worth commemorating.

On the eve of the New Year, I chose to spend the night comfortably and safely in my bed. While I anticipated the arrival of 2024, my preferences have evolved into that of a homebody. The thrill of crowded social settings, loud noises, and excessive drinking no longer resonates with me as it once did. My body and energy levels have shifted, making me appreciate quieter, more intimate moments.

My anticipation now lies in celebrating the "New Year" on March 20th—the first day of Spring and the symbol of New Life! The reason behind this excitement and the inception of this blog stems from a 2.5-year journey focused on improving my health. Eliminating most meats from my diet (with exception of salmon), incorporating juicing, maintaining a consistent workout routine, prioritizing sleep, and addressing triggers that revived past traumas were integral parts of this transformative process.

Moving into my own space after residing with my mom for five years marked a significant step toward creating my own sense of peace. I believed I was okay, acknowledging that perfection is an unattainable human trait. However, certain disturbances disrupted my peace—some self-inflicted, while others beyond my control.

The peace I had meticulously crafted in my life faced an unexpected test recently – a test that has shaken me to my core. The specter of breast cancer looms, and as I navigate through this uncertainty, I find solace in the power of sharing my journey.

A routine checkup uncovered abnormalities that warranted further investigation. The mere mention of the possibility of breast cancer sent shockwaves through my world. Suddenly, the newfound peace I had cultivated faced an unexpected adversary.

I want to be open and honest with you, dear reader. In the midst of crafting this blog post, I find myself suspended in the unsettling space of not knowing. I've recently undergone a biopsy, and the nurses, compassionate individuals on the frontline of healthcare, have shared with me that the likelihood of the biopsy indicating breast cancer is approximately 10%.

Despite these statistics, the emotional rollercoaster I'm navigating knows no statistical boundaries. The waiting, the uncertainty, it's all taking a toll on my mental well-being. In these moments of ambiguity, I've come to understand that the mind races faster than any set of results can be delivered.

While I await the outcome, I feel it's essential to be transparent about this part of my journey. Emotions are complex, and this period of waiting has stirred up a storm within me. It's a testament to the psychological toll that medical uncertainties can take on an individual, even when the odds seem in one's favor.

As I share my experiences here, I hope to shed light not only on the triumphs and transformations but also on the challenges that make us human. The waiting game is no small feat, and I find solace in expressing my emotions openly.

Thank you for joining me on this candid exploration of life's unpredictable twists, and I genuinely appreciate the support and understanding that comes from sharing these deeply personal aspects of my journey.

Love,

Portia aka PJ